The Greatest of These is Love

Christian Love, either towards God or towards man, is an affair of the will. If we are trying to do His will we are obeying the commandment, 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God.' He will give us feelings of love if He pleases. We cannot create them for ourselves, and we must not demand them as a right. But the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him.

- C. S. Lewis

I posted this because it further emphasizes my belief that love is not a feeling, and a relationship should not be abandoned (either physically or emotionally) due to the absence of feelings. When I love someone, and I dedicate my love, I commit it, I'm not promising that I will always feel a certain way about them. I promised that, because the love I had for them was real, I would continue to love them and be committed to them despite whatever feelings come my way. I know that I am not in control of my feelings. I can't order them up and get a custom made feeling delivered on demand. If I could, I would promise to feel a certain way about someone else forever. Feelings are not something that I generate. I am only in control of how I respond to them. I recognize that on some levels, we are not in control of how we respond to them 100% of the time. Depending on our conditioning, depending on our upbringing, our environment, our schooling, our relationship experiences, our psychological make-up, our heads do not consistently control our emotions. Sometimes our feelings take the steering wheel from our brains. I understand this. Nonetheless, I'm striving to fight my feelings off sometimes and to align them (and subsequently my actions) with what my convictions are, with what my mind knows is right and virtuous. 'Relentless determination' is what I have for those I truly love. True love is what He lends to me. Is what He does through me. When He takes that away, that's when my love will die, not when feelings are no where to be found.