Waiting is the Hardest Part

Perhaps, indeed, the better the gift we pray for, the more time is necessary for its arrival. To give us the spiritual gift we desire, God may have to begin far back in our spirit, in regions unknown to us, and do much work that we can be aware of only in the results; for our consciousness is to the extent of our being but as the flame of the volcano [is] to the world-gulf [from] whence it [comes]; in the gulf of our unknown being God works behind our consciousness. With His holy influence, with His own presence (the one thing for which [we] most earnestly cry) He may be approaching our consciousness from behind, coming forward through regions of our darkness into our light, long before we begin to be aware that He is answering our request - has answered it, and is visiting His child.

- George MacDonald

The thought that God could be answering my prayer in a way that is unknowable to me until the work He has to do is already done makes waiting a little easier. Waiting is, like the song says, the hardest part. I ask for something now, because I need it now. I don't ask for something 10 years down the road. It is frustrating to have to wait, and wait, and wait, and then wonder if what I'm asking for is being worked on, or if it is something that God doesn't see fit to give. When I was in middle school, I went away to a church camp. There was a basketball tournament, and my team made its way to the championship game. Before the game, I prayed that if God would only allow my team to win, I promised Him that I would do something in return. He followed through immediately, giving us the victory - with me hitting the winning shot. He gave me what I asked and more. I failed Him, and though I tried, was not able to follow through on my promise. He answered my prayer immediately, despite the fact that I made Him a promise and He knew that I wouldn't keep it. In this case, it was a minor request. The response came quickly, and I saw the result, and I knew that it was a direct answer to a specific prayer. In the case where I've prayed for a change of heart, either in myself or someone else it has not been that easy. There's not a definitive point in time (like a scheduled sporting event) where I can look and say, yep, there it is...my prayer has been answered. I think changes of heart classify best with the supposition that MacDonald is making. There are parts of me that I don't know. All I am aware of about myself is the tip of the iceberg. I am not even conscious for a large part of my existence. I spend a bulk of my life asleep. Where am I then? God knows me entirely. If I ask for something that requires work deep in the basement of my soul, in parts of me that I don't even know exist, then there's a chance that I may not know that He is working on me until the work is already done. The results of His work may start to flow unnoticiable at first. The old result, the thing that I was asking Him to remove, may be a mix with the new result. Slowly though, what He has changed in me will become more and more noticeable. This thought keeps me going. It gives me hope to be patient, and to wait on Him. It doesn't always work, but it is a much needed help when it does.